ive been thinking, and i kinda thought too much
i really dont know what im doing but its gonna
be for good, i think? at least ill see smiles yes?
im really scared about whats gonna happen,
what im gonna become. but i already dont care
about me really. this is really silly, i feel silly now. haha
i want everyone to be happy, no more tears
but id give up with myself. ill just be really quiet
id gather my guts and pick myself up and see
where life is gonna bring me.
times when i feel like ending it shall not cross
my mind again. atleast ill try :)! thinking of death
will be really pathetic too. although i know many
many many people feels like so all the time
ill just be the plain ol' sity. no extra shines,
no loud laughing. ree,val&maine said,
'things has got to change' i think the one changing
will be me then! haha. ill still be here, ill still be the
same. ill still be listening, like always. its just gonna
be little bit more quiet.

i love you guys, this is gonna be the last from me

ill look for your eyes to keep me inside
when everything dies but one last sunrise

met ree in the afternoon before their grad night
talked for awhile and sent her to school
met the boy after that. tried doing a little bit of
his math before giving up
MY Ns ARE OVER LUH ALAMAKKK
so he studied and apparently it wasnt productive, grrr

went to the place that supposedly has the "best"
oreo crush. okay, it did. the oreo crush was gooood
since he said he craved for soccer in a reallllly long
time, i took him to the street soccer court in tamp
and the boy played soccer. he/they played really good
i was just sitting, watching some awesome teenage
street soccer, eavesdropping on a bunch of mat's
conversation whos trying to figure out whether i was
chinese or malay before i realiseeeee,
'fcuk! he's suppose to be mugging!' takper, takper
we've currently become a little bit more mat and
a spice of beng. which, makes the both of us kinda
matbeng-ish. heh, random

oh, and did i mention the boy looks really hot in my heels?
yes, high heels. white high heels. fhot :)

okay, tv now. really tired
bye

im feeling kinda crappy now, a lil tipsytoed, a lil
jumpy, a lil bouncy, a lil bit insane. yah huh
anw, some intruder came to my door step at 11am
in the morning, bloody hell. people sleepingggg
disturb only. tsktsk. no laaaaa, im kiddinggg
but yeah, was totally pigging the hell out
okay, so today was fun. really awesome.
tiring, but really fun&awesome
yishun with boy to catch resident evil
yes, yishun. we've come to a conclusion that the
west people are basically really, um. weird.
thats pretty much it.

im wishing Os gonna be done fast, heh
my tv's kinda screwed up and im really sad
grey's! yay. bright&shiny! ok.
goodbye.

MR PRATA IS MMMMMGOOOOOD
the boy had the first Olvl practical today
and he did some silly lil thing. dont ask why
i think its just him to be silly [:
mmmoooook, bye
goodnight

and the story unfolds
she had the love she could never have. she was made the
luckiest girl in the world and still am. she didnt thought it
would come to this. but he was the best she ever had. his
touch, his fingers running down along her face. his breathing
against the skin of her neck. she could still feel it all. visions
of his face and the way he walks keeps playing in her head.
she is staring into space, starting to live in illusions. its like a
song, every word he said in every breath. he is just so awesome.
she would be lying is she said she doesnt hate him. beacause she
does. she hates him for loving her. she hates him for being so
awesome. he was the only one she could hold onto. he was the only
one she had. but everything had to crash&burn in seconds, just
when shes ready to give it all. the whole time she had with him was
simply joy and laughter. the warmth, the happiness. but nooo,
she was too busy caring about the world's feelings. she was so
selfish not to think about his feelings instead. and now that shes
ready, its just too late. too late to make it up. just, why? oh so
foolish, foolish little girl, she thought. she shouldve known
better herself. its her own fault now that shes in such deep pain.
she feels really selfish for putting him through all this. she feels
like a big blob of failure, she feels so pathetic and selfish. but
fret not, shes gonna be bright&shiny. he still makes her smile
in the simplest way. although she has that crazy little hope in her,
shes not gonna be selfish. shes not gonna let that hope eat her
heart. because she knows whats best. what she has now are just
memories. memories of what they call 'love' he was the
one that could make her happy again. he was the one that
she loved so fucking much. he was her world. every second
spent with him was gold and diamonds. he was the best, the
best she ever had. now both hearts are shattered. but she
would be the glue that pieces them alllllllll together. carvings of
his name are deep in her heart. because thats the only thing that
keeps her heart together. hes the only reason that keeps her alive.
he is the reason shes going on strong. he is the hope she wanted all
this while. he is the joy and love that she could never find again.
he is the miracle that God presented her with. he is the voice in
her heart, he is her brightest star

im so tired, of apologising to myself for you
look what youve done to me
and i tried, to forgive myself for caring about you
theres nothing i can do

look at me now
im not leaving,
im standing still
because you got me tongue tied
and im all frozen and cold
you know me well enough,
im the same ol' sunshiny-like, strong &
macho little girl. smile for me
because this is for you

i really dont understand why people would do such things
and how people thinks of you negatively when they dont
know shit about you. and then they judge you, with whatever
theyve heard about you. gosh, thats just being plain childish
please, change. youre 16, or older. start thinking for people
atleast think about how other people would feel and not how
you feel about other people. stop being so selfish
its your damn problem that you dont have what others have
the care, the time, the love. stop being a fucking _____
what you need to do is

so long losers
im getting the fuck out of this place

SITY KAY!
friendster
sixteen
february22nd
singapore, mixed blood
hai sing catholic
hsc netball <3
SINGL3S!
THE swim team
loverboy♥

just you&meY

tinkerbell(s)Y